***
I don't know how much time I spent lying awake last night.
My temples were throbbing, my feet were annoyingly warm, and my hair was unwashed. Each discomfort left me uncomfortable and irritated. Every position I laid in, didn't feel right. Neither side of my pillow was cool or comfortable enough and it got to the point where I became frustrated by my lack of tiredness.
Finally, I gave up trying to sleep and cracked open my skylight. Under the darkness of the sky, I thought about how much easier things were years ago when my mother's arms were the safest place I could be. I thought about how she'd stroke my hair and sing me old Vietnamese lullabies when I couldn't sleep. I love you's were/are very rarely exchanged in our home, but growing up, I was always strongly aware of the fact that my mother loved me and I knew it most of all when she sang me to sleep.
Nowadays, we might as well be strangers. Walls and the passage of time have completely separated us and even though she is usually only ten steps away, it feels like ten thousand.
