It's so funny how things can change so quickly.
Today, I can say that I'm proud of myself because I finally feel at ease. It's sort of a weird statement considering that my school life is already insane and is about to become even more hectic, but at night, when I go to bed, I'm... calm. I'm proud of myself.
There is a part of me that I've kept hidden. I've taken so many emotional hits in the past few months that it came to the point where I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself for allowing it to happen. Instead of removing myself from the situation and getting help from my friends, I shut them out and I didn't let anyone else in. Even now, nobody really knows what happened, and I doubt that anyone will ever know. But I'm slowly fixing myself. Little by little, I am healing. I am not the girl that I allowed myself to be. The girl who was all about protecting other people, and in the process, forgot about herself. Time and time again I allowed myself to be an emotional punching bag for other people and it kills because I know that I'm smarter than that. I know that I don't deserve that. My parents certainly didn't raise me to be like way.
I'm grateful that this slap in the face from reality finally came because I really needed it.
