Lately, I've been dreaming A LOT about my old house in Coquitlam.
For anyone who doesn't know, Coquitlam is a mostly suburban city outside of Vancouver, BC. I lived there for... (I'm going to say) four years of my childhood in a large, rose-coloured house on the corner of Miller Ave.
Where I lived, we were surrounded by big families in big houses. My dad started designing the architecture of our home when I was in kindergarten and building of the house started the year after that. When my family finally moved in to our completed home, we occupied the suite on the left side of the house. On the right side of the house, we rented out the top and bottom suites out to family friends. It was like being on Full House. There was always someone to play with, always someone to talk to, and always someone to look after you. In the winter, my brother and I built snowmen on the front lawn. One spring, we helped my dad build and paint our basketball court, but summer was always the best time. Every weekend, my dad would take my brother and I to a movie, or to Dinotown, or to a water park. We even went fishing one time. That day, my dad took us to the lake, where we ran into a Caucasian family who was using corn as fish bait. On a whim, my dad took my brother and I to Wal-Mart and we bought fishing gear just for that occasion. Even though we caught nothing that day and never went fishing again, it's still probably one of the best days of my life. My brother and I were always biking up, down and around the road beside our house. When my dad taught me how to ride a two-wheeler, my brother followed us on his training wheels. My sister got married at that house.
During the Christmas season, our neighbours, who lived down the block, would always elaborately decorate the outside of their home with hundreds of lights and Christmas decor. It was so beautiful and every night in December, my dad would drive us past the house just so my brother and I could ooh and aah at all of the twinkling lights.
I realized that I dream so much about our old home because I relate it to a happier time in my life, when every single person in my family was content. I was too young to know about the concept of wealth, and even though we had enough of it, it wasn't something that was important to me. Now that my family life has gone a bit downhill, I guess I've subconsciously started to miss the way that we used to be, and this feeling manifests itself in my dreams.
Last night, I dreamt that my family and I were living in Coquitlam again. In my dream, I was sitting on the couch, in our old house, with my mother and we were cuddling and watching something on TV. When I was suddenly jolted awake by my alarm clock, it took me a few seconds to remember where I was and how I got there. That short feeling of unfamiliarity was startling to me. I wanted to escape back to my dream.
I hate that things have changed so drastically and I hate even more that I've only been able to realize this recently. Now, I just feel like it's too late to go back or fix things.
