I went to Metrotown (barfffffff, I hate it there and it wasn't my choice, but whatever, that's a long, dramatic story) to buy a present for Justin C. (because I drew his name for Secret Santa). The whole bus ride there I thought and thought about what I should get for him because I wanted it to be so perfect. A few days ago, I, not-so-cleverly, asked him up front what he wanted for Christmas "because [his] Secret Santa [wanted] to know."
... He told me that he wanted gloves from the dollar store.
And yeah, okay, gloves from the dollar store are nice, and I love how they have so many colours, but then they get lost easily in your house and then when you do find them again, it's on some random day in July when wearing gloves isn't considered normal... unless you're Michael Jackson.
Justin's friends told me that he really loves music, sports, and penguins. I guess that music and sports are too broad because my mind kept going back to penguins. So, amidst the thick, stinky air of the stuffy bus and loud banter of TNA clad Asian girls, I thought, "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... penguins are like fish. Fish are fun. I'll get Justin some fish!"
So, there I was, alone. At Metrotown. At six thirty p.m. In my uniform. Looking like a mess because I hadn't brushed my hair or looked in the mirror since early that afternoon. I silently hoped that I wouldn't see anyone that I knew because I was in a rush and really didn't feel like having any awkward conversations with people that I knew but didn't really know, you know?
I sped walked through the mall and sure enough, the inevitable occurred. I saw people that I knew but didn't really know. I wouldn't have minded an awkward wave, but I really didn't have time, so I took a MAJOR and probably embarrassingly obvious detour behind a large pillar in order to avoid them.
... I'm friendly! I am! ... Just not yesterday.
Anyway, since I go to Metrotown maybe like, four times a year, I really didn't know my way around the mall. It took me five billion years and a tourist's map in
order to find Pet Habitat. At the pet store, I stood in the fish section for so long, looking at and inspecting every single specie of fish that they had. There were angelfish and goldfish and catfish and fighting fish and oh my gosh! So many different kinds of fish! But I finally chose a pair of Tiger Barb fish (which I only just learned was probably a bad idea because apparently, Tiger Barbs can get violent and, "If you only keep two in a tank, one will eventually chase the other."). The Tiger Barb fish were the most interesting ones that I saw because they have these thick, black stripes on them and they swim really fast, too. Oh, and the fact that they look like and are named after TIGERS was pretty awesome, too.One of the pet shop employees- who I swear, was like, Torsten's twin- got the fish for me. It was kind of gross because he just reached his hand into the tank and took them out with his right hand.
Nobody told me about the whole, "If you only keep two in a tank, one will eventually chase the other," idea.
He put the fish into a plastic bag and took them to the till for me. Oh, but ew, before shutting the plastic bag, he put his mouth on it and blew into the bag. I guess he did it so that the bag wouldn't be floppy or whatever, but it was still gross because the bag still had tank water all over it!
I looked like a dork, walking out of the store, while carrying two tiny fish in a plastic bag. A little kid passed by, pointed, and say, "Mommy! Fish!"
Oh! But the highlight was at Danielle's house, not Metrotown!
When I finally got to Danielle's house, (after eating lots of cookies and a cupcake and rehearsing a few songs), she told me that I had to transfer the fish into a bowl because "they could die if you leave them in there for more than an hour."
I did not know that.
We ran to the bathroom (along with Tiffany) carrying the fish and the "bowl" (not really a fish bowl... more like a fish bowl substitute that I found at the mall).
Things were going pretty well at first. Danielle told me to put the opening of the plastic bag into the fish bowl while she held the bowl. Tiff told me to dump the contents of the bag into the bowl really fast.
I dumped the contents of the plastic bag into the bowl really fast. Too fast! One of the fish got stuck in the bag! Dee SCREAMED. I SCREAMED. Tiff SCREAMED BECAUSE WE WERE SCREAMING. Leanne came in, wondering why we were SCREAMING.
I thought that the fish was going to die.
Danielle yelled, "GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!"
I said, "OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!"
Tiffany didn't know what was going on.
I shook the bag and the fish fell out... into the sink! It kind of did a weird, flappy movement. We screamed some more and Tiffany finally realized what was going on.
I didn't want to touch the fish or pick it up. It stopped moving.
"Oh no! Justin's only going to get one fish!" I thought.
In a panic, I started to fill the sink with water while Danielle fled the bathroom.
Luckily, the fish wasn't dead. It started to swim (!) around in the sink and Danielle came back with a ladle from the kitchen. She scooped the fish out of the sink and dumped him into the bowl and all was well.
... That was the highlight of my week. Is that sad or what?
